Subtle? No. Necessary? Also no. Will your mom ask questions? Absolutely 💯
This “HORNY” hat is for people who stopped pretending to be chill years ago. Glittery letters, filthy intentions. Wear it to brunch, mini golf, or divorce court — whatever. It’s not about where you are. It’s about what you're telling the world: “I’m not okay, and I’m not trying to be.”
Fits your head. Boosts your ego. Ruins your first impression. Unisex chaos, built for public regret.
🧢 Product Features:
- 🛋️ Comfortable Unstructured Fit — laid-back like your buddy who still lives with his mom at 34.
- 🧠 6-panel design with eyelets — yes, it breathes better than you.... mouth breather.
- 🧢 Precurved visor + matching underbill — sleek enough to hide the shame in your eyes.
- 🔧 Adjustable snapback — whether you’ve got a peanut head or a swollen ego, it’ll fit.
- 🌾 100% cotton — soft, strong, and built to survive whatever the hell your lifestyle is.
🧽 Care Instructions: (You won’t read these, but here they are)
- 🧼 Spot clean with warm water and dish soap — like you’re trying to erase your weekend decisions, one drip at a time.
- 🪥 Use a soft brush for stubborn stains — or just wear them like a badge of honor, you absolute mess.
📦 Ships in 2-5 business days
📐 Size Chart:
| |
One size |
| Crown height, in |
3.12 |
| Diameter, in |
6.62 - 7.62 |
| Circumference, in |
20.87 - 24.80 |
| Visor length, in |
2.91 |
deadass3d 🩻
🙏Thank you for supporting an independent creator/artist. Every purchase helps fuel more absurd 3D prints, off putting merch, and plotless content.
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