🦉 Signals to strangers you have more prescriptions than coping skills 🍕 Instantly absorbs pizza grease and anxious sweat 📉 Doubles as a warning label for new friends and employers 💊 Makes you look cooler than the guy at AA with the acoustic guitar
💥 Product Features: - 📏 Comes in sizes from S to 4XL — whether you're built like a Greek god or an alcoholic. - 🪡 Double-needle stitching so strong, it could survive a bar fight in a Chili’s parking lot. - 🎨 Garment-dyed softness — it feels like getting hugged by a cloud while listening to Creed. - ⚠️ Adults only — this shirt’s got mature energy. Like bourbon. Or Nicolas Cage. - 🇭🇳 Made in Honduras with 100% ring-spun US cotton
🧼 Care Instructions: (Bold of us to assume you can read) - 🧊 Machine wash cold - (max 30C or 90F) - 🚫 Don’t bleach it - we're not just talking about the shirt - 🌬️ Tumble dry low heat — slow and sensual. - 🔥 Iron, steam or dry: low heat - - 🙅♂️ Do not dry clean - we will call the police
📦 Ships in 2-5 business days
📐 Size Chart:
S
M
L
XL
2XL
3XL
4XL
Width,
in
18.25
20.25
22.00
24.00
26.00
27.75
29.75
Length,
in
26.62
28.00
29.37
30.75
31.62
32.50
33.50
Sleeve
length
from
center
back,
in
16.25
17.75
19.00
20.50
21.75
23.25
24.63
Size
tolerance,
in
1.50
1.50
1.50
1.50
1.50
1.50
1.50
deadass3d🩻
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